I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
