ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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