In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Randomize
