I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
