I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
