so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
