Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
