it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
