You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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