I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Randomize
