Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
