my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Randomize
