I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
