i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The best revenge is premature balding
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
