Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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