I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
