I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
time to smoke my breakfast
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize