she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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