An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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