guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I have already put on my inside pants.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
