Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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