I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
