i jhust puked up my retainher.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
