ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize