This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
