did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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