problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
