I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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