I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
