He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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