Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
