Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
