how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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