The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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