You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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