I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
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