Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
