oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
4 words: hood of his car
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
