You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
