loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
