So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
