Im at strip club and am horny
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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