It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
