508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
