You really coming over, don't trick.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
