is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize
