I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I touched a dick in church today
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
