he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
