Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
