idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
