none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
