did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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