Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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