what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
