Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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