You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
...so i touched it.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
