Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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