Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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